Five lessons from mountain climbers

A group of friends once reached a mountain spot after about an hour of climbing.  They found several people already there. While the group started to unwind, one of them saw another mountain peak higher up, and proposed his group to climb that too. The group rejected the idea saying it is too difficult as the path is difficult. While the group decided to camp there only, the man went ahead alone and reached the next peak in about two hours. As he reached there, he was applauded and welcomed by a small group of people who were already there.

Enjoying the beautiful view of nature from the top, the man wondered why only a handful were there. A veteran climber replied, “Most people in the crowd right there are happy with what they find easily. They never think that they have the potential to achieve more.

We admire mountain climbers for their courage, determination, and risk-taking abilities. However, we can learn life-changing lessons from them. I would present the following:

• If you are happy with what you find easily, you will not go too far: This attitude stops many of us from realizing our true potential. It is very important to get out of one’s comfort zone and try harder.
• Discomfort and pain make us stronger: Skilled mountaineers are the ones who endure pain and discomfort. Their knees may be hurting, they may be out of breath, they may be having cramps in muscles or legs, but they keep going. Therefore, if we are experiencing discomfort in our profession or life, we need to keep going.  We are becoming stronger. 
• We need to consistently shift the goal post: Climbers keep shifting their goal posts and try to move to higher peaks. This is because whenever they arrive at a peak, they find it to be the beginning of another peak. We need to do the same. Treat our achievements as steppingstone to a higher-level goal.
• As we go high, there are fewer but stronger competitors: When mountain climbers go higher up, they find lesser number of people there. Highest peaks are climbed by just a few people in the world. This applies to all walks of life. As we go up in our career, we will be competing with a smaller but stronger people.  Excellence requires outsmarting the smart ones, not the average people.
• We need to bend to climb a mountain: Without bending, no one can climb. This keeps us balanced and prevents us from slipping or falling. This shows we need to be stay humble, no matter what we achieve in life.

Let’s learn to wait

Once a king lost his way in a forest. It became dark and he needed to find a shelter. After wandering for a while, he could reach a hut where he was welcomed by an old lady. The lady thought he was a soldier from the army. She served him a plate of hot rice and curry. The king was so hungry that he quickly put his fingers in the hot food. The hot food burnt his fingers, and he spilled some rice on the floor.

The old lady said, “Oh, you seem too impatient and hasty like your king.” The king was surprised and asked her to explain why she thinks like this for the king.

The old lady said, “our king has a big dream of capturing massive forts of his enemies quickly.” The king interrupted, “What is the problem with that?” The lady smiled and added, “If you had eaten the less hot food at the edges first and then at the center, you would not have burnt your fingers and not wasted some food. Similarly, king should have patience. He should target the small forts first and strengthen his position. It would help him capture the massive forts without losing his resources and soldiers.”

The king learnt a useful lesson. Having ambition is good but we should not rush for quick results.  

I shared this story as I was asked in one of the comments on my previous post to reflect on why people are losing the gift of patience.

My reflections bring me to the following three conclusions:

First, we are living in a fast-paced world. Everyone is in a terrible hurry to achieve their goals. In this mad rush for quick successes, people are losing a lot. They don’t have time for their loved ones; they are stressed; and many develop health problems at a relatively younger age. Remember, most of the road accidents occur due to over speeding. Slow down a bit. Enjoy your journey. I have written earlier, look for moments of joy around you.   

Second, we lose patience in moments of anger. When results take time to come by, we get angry and do things which we regret later. We have become less tolerant than before. That is why see so more violence and hatred around us these days. We must learn to manage our anger.

Third, we lose patience when we are facing a problem. It could be related to work, health, relationships, or anything else. Lack of patience in dealing with problems never helps. It complicates the matter further.

Patience is an attitude that can be developed.

Ask yourself what you feel in a situation where you must wait. If you can wait without becoming irritated or angry, you are patient.

As I wrote in one of my earlier posts, problems of life are like the red light on a traffic signal. If we wait, the light becomes green. Let’s learn to wait. This is a step we must take to develop patience.

Are you an eraser or a highlighter?

Last week I had some trouble with my keyboard. Everything else functioned well except the delete key. This is when I realized the importance of the delete function.  It was difficult to work without being able to delete the errors made. At this stage, I recalled the following story.

A pencil and an eraser always worked together. Whenever the pencil would make a mistake and write something wrong, the eraser would step in and erase it, enabling the pencil to write correctly. However, with each use, the rubber was getting smaller in size. The pencil asked the eraser, “Every time I make a mistake you are there to help. But I am sorry my friend. You lose a part of yourself and get smaller each time.” The eraser replied, “Please don’t worry. I am made to help you when you did something wrong. This is my job. I am happy doing my job even though I know I will be gone one day.”

A pencil may feel proud seeing the final text it has written or the drawing it has made, but there was always an eraser to help by correcting its mistakes, knowing fully well that with each erase it was getting closer to its own end.   

We are all like a pencil. We hardly get things right in the first attempt. We make mistakes. But we have erasers in form of parents, teachers, friends and colleagues who help us by correcting us, and help us shine. They make sacrifices without caring for their own life and comforts.

The following lessons emerge:

Accomplishments that we feel proud of are not entirely our own. Let’s remember and be grateful to people who have helped us.

People who have helped us or are still helping, may not be around always. In fact, some of them – like parents who helped us grow from a helpless infant to a grownup adult – may be already gone for some of us. Life is short. Let’s have an attitude of gratitude for people who help us without asking for anything in return.

We should also be of help to others and support them in achieving their goals.

When we see someone’s mistake or shortcoming, we should hide it instead of publicizing it. We need to be erasers of people’s mistakes, not highlighters.

Good things are always around you

Frustrated with failures in life, a young man thought of committing suicide. When he was about to jump from a high hill, a Buddhist monk passed by and stopped him. The monk’s saintliness had a positive impact on the distraught man, and he narrated his tales of woe to the monk, “Nothing seems to be working for me. I haven’t achieved anything in my life. I don’t have a job. I took loan to start a business, but it failed. I feel I am a burden on everyone. People avoid me.”

The monk knew that the man’s self-esteem was at its lowest, and he was fully drowned in negative thinking.  The monk asked “So far, you have only told me about problems you are facing in your life. Can you also tell me about some of the good things in your life? The man pondered and revealed, “My mother loves me a lot. She has always stood beside me, no matter how complicated my situation was. I have a small daughter who is a source of joy to me. Playing with her for a few minutes makes both of us very happy. And finally, I have a friend who is always willing to help.”

The monk had now got the young man out of the negative thinking trap.  He asked, “How do you think your mother and daughter will react when they come to know about your suicide?” The young man said they will not be able to bear it. His voice choked as he realized his mistake.

The monk left him with a word of advice, “You may be having a bad time, but you still have good things in life. Be aware of them.” The young man hugged the monk and thanked him profusely for making him see the positive side of his life. A life was saved.

Negative thinking is dangerous. It can lead to depression, isolation, even suicides.  Many people continue to blame themselves for the problems they face and never seek help.

I would leave with three thoughts to break the vicious cycle of negative thinking:

• Take a step back and think about positive things in your life.

• Seek help. There will always be someone who can help you see the problem with a different perspective.

• Before taking any drastic decision, think about people who love you, and need you.  

Prevention is always better. As I wrote earlier – rewire your brain, put in a fuse – and stop negative thoughts from entering your mind.

Three steps to success

There is a play school near my office. Toddlers play and have fun through several outdoor activities. I recently saw them taking three steps to go up, walk a bit and then slide down on the other side.

I observed kids for a while. In the beginning, some were very scared and reluctant to take the first step. They did so with the help of their teacher. Getting to the second step was a bit harder. Several kids struggled but made it eventually.

Keeping their balance and moving on to the third level was very challenging.  But they managed with the inspiration from the teacher and other kids who constantly shouted “keep going just one more to go.” Sliding down was also a bit scary too in the beginning but then it became fun.

Five minutes of observation and reflection made me realize that three small steps to go up are not without a reason. They are educational and give us important lessons.

There are three steps to success.

Take the first step towards your goal: There are many people who keep planning but don’t act on their plans. We need to start somewhere. Start small but take the first step towards your goal. Zig Ziglar has rightly said “there is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”

Keep moving: The second step involves everything you need to do to get to your destination. It takes time, hard work, persistence, and motivation to keep going against all odds.  The key lesson here is not to give up. Keep moving.  It also means don’t be afraid to seeking help when you are stuck.

Arrive and go for the next destination: The third step is arriving at your destination. Once arrived, celebrate, and move ahead to the next destination.

It is always good to convert our goal into a series of small realistic targets.  Achieve one and move to the next, following the three-step process.   

I also saw kids sliding down after having climbed three stairs. They were laughing and having fun; and were rushing back to climb again. There are ups and downs in life. It is important to not let failures affect us. I have already written about the value of failures.

How I wish we could embrace this attitude. When life takes a downward slide, learn from failures and start climbing again.  

A prediction I hope will never come true

A few days back I was having coffee with a friend. We were discussing climate change. We recalled how things have changed since our childhood. For example, we never bought drinking water earlier. All water was potable. However, as pollution increased, clean drinking water became a scarcity; and people started buying clean water sold in bottles.

What else would we be buying in future?

I predicted we would be buying clean air to breathe.  There would be earmarked places in cities, markets, offices, train stations, airports etc. where people will have to pay to be in a zone where they could breathe cleaner air. It is also not ruled out that  people would be carrying a little oxygen bottle as well to be able to breathe in fresh air through a tube.

COVID-19 has served a timely warning. Hospitals were seen struggling to accommodate breathless patients. Several patients died because they could not get enough oxygen. Oxygen concentrators, which squeeze out oxygen from ambient air and provide a low-flow oxygen solution became an important complementary source of oxygen for patients. Oxygen cylinders were in short supply and people paid huge price for having one.  

We saw abundant requests for oxygen cylinders in social media. I  remember an Instagram message posted by a worried daughter in India, “Lungs damaged. Oxygen level dropped to 70. Hospital is refusing to keep my father for more than a couple of hours due to the shortage of medical oxygen. My father will die.” A man who saw this message went out of his way to arrange a cylinder and drove in the middle of the night to deliver it to the hospital. A life was saved.

COVID-19 pandemic shook us to the core but you know it caused close to 6 million deaths in two years. In contrast, air pollution causes 7 million deaths in a year globally, according to the WHO. We may realize it or not, air pollution is one of the biggest environmental threats to human life. It is a silent epidemic.

We still have an opportunity to avert this. We need to keep the pressure on governments to expedite action towards achieving zero carbon emissions.

While governments may do their job, we need to change our own lifestyles too. It may be acts like protecting trees, planting trees, reducing use of plastic, reducing vehicular pollution, giving up smoking etc.

We don’t want our children in future to go to school with a water as well as an oxygen bottle. Do we?

I hope this prediction will not come true.

Be kind, be courageous and seek help

How can I give a message of hope, happiness and peace in the first post of 2022? We are still in the midst of a pandemic, conflicts, disasters and growing inequity in the world.

Luckily, I got my hands on – The boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse – a book by Charlie Mackesy.

The book encourages you to live courageously, be kind to yourself and others, and never be afraid to seek help.

Charlie provides profound insights through his illustrations and conversation involving four different characters. I would encourage all to read book. Your life can be better by applying the ideas captured in the book.

In dealing with crises, the book’s idea – imagine how far we would be if we were less afraid – would help.  Indeed, when we are together, we are less scared, and can find better solutions.

I loved the opening dialogue between the mole and the boy. When asked by the mole, “What would you want to be when you grow up,” the boy responded, “Kind.”

I wish all children, as well as adults, take note of this and aspire to become kind.

Ask this question to a young boy or a girl in your circle and listen to their response. They would like to become doctor, teacher, sportsperson etc. You may share the response of the boy in Charlie’s book and conclude that whatever they would like to become, they should be kind. For example, aspire to become a kind doctor, not just a doctor. The world will be a much better place if it has more kind people in every walk of life.

Kindness leads to happiness. In my earlier post- Want to be happy? Be kind –   I had shared a few ideas on how to be kind.  Charlie’s book draws attention to self-kindness.

In order to be kind to yourself, Charlie’s main message is stop comparing yourself to others. This is fundamental.

Each one of us is different. We have our unique strengths and weaknesses.  We all have our ups and downs. We become harsh on ourselves when we compare us with those doing better than us, not realizing that they also had their own failures and setbacks.

Self-kindness prepares us to admit failures and mistakes without being hard on ourselves.

Many people continue to blame themselves for the problems they face and never seek help. I love the idea captured in the book. Ask for help when you need it. It is a brave thing to do. Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are brave and not going to give up. 

The message is clear: Be kind, be courageous and seek help. Have a great 2022!

Three life-changing teachings of Desmond Tutu

As the year 2021 is nearing its end and we are struggling to deal with an upsurge in COVID-19 infections, the world is shaken by the death of Desmond Mpilo Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus of Southern Africa.

Desmond Tutu was an inspirational leader who stood in the ranks of Nelson Mandela and Gandhi. Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, he served as Archbishop of the Anglican Church in Cape Town and later chaired the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which President Mandela established to help address the atrocities of apartheid.

His life and teachings will continue to inspire generations. Here I capture the following three, which can change our lives:   

Forgive others and make a new beginning

People often wonder why they should forgive those who have caused pain and suffering to them. In his memoir- No Future Without Forgiveness – Desmond Tutu rejected the idea of general amnesty in which past crimes are forgotten. This would be unfair to the victims. In his reconciliation model, people who committed atrocities could apply for amnesty, which should be granted if they made a full and true confession. According to him, when the oppressor confesses his crime and seeks forgiveness, it heals the victims. “Forgiveness says you are given a chance to make a new beginning,” said Tutu.

This is a great model that can be applied to any situation where the world deals with oppression, discrimination, exclusion, and atrocities.

We can also apply in it our personal lives and make a new beginning by forgiving those who have caused pain to us. Forgiveness will indeed help us build bridges.

Be hopeful

Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”

This message is extremely important as we are dealing with a deadly pandemic. We need to stay hopeful as this will help us find innovative solutions. No matter how difficult a situation may appear, we have not lost everything, there is always a way out.  

Suffering is inevitable but we can still be happy

In 2015, Archbishop Tutu traveled to his Holiness Dalai Lama’s home in India. The two gurus spent a week together and shared their insights on a critical question: How do we find joy in the face of life’s inevitable suffering?  Douglas Abrams has aptly captured their conversation in a book – The Book of Joy: Lasting happiness in a changing world – which is a must read for all.

The two great men of our times have concluded: suffering is inevitable, but joy can come out of it.  Happiness lies in human mind and heart and we need to find it. Desmond Tutu has given a good advice, “taking care of others, helping others, ultimately is the way to discover your own joy and to have a happy life.”

Thank you very much, Archbishop Desmond Tutu for sharing these pearls of wisdom. Rest in peace. You will be missed.

 I present my greetings to all and wish everyone a very happy 2022.

Pick up a book to read at your bus stop

During my childhood, we used to share books: textbooks, story books or comics. Sharing of storybooks increased considerably during holidays. Books would pass on from person to person and the entire friend circle would read the same book, no matter who bought it in the first place. Book sharing made new friends, though at times led to little skirmishes too, when someone did not return a book on time. Then people set up community libraries, and the system because a bit more organized.  Very few – the studious ones or those having a literary taste – would be seen taking membership of libraries and going there to sit, read, or borrow books.  

Years have gone but I have noted one thing. People with whom I shared books are still my friend. Sharing indeed nurtures relationships and leads to friendship.

Sharing of books was replaced by sharing of video games as time changed but still it was a medium to keep friendships alive until smart phones came in everyone’s hands and “forwarded messages and emoji signs” took precedence over everything. People are more connected now but have fewer friends.

No doubt, internet has opened a whole new world of knowledge and learning but remaining glued to a small screen for long time has increased health hazards for children as well as adults.

Can’t we find a middle way? A way that rejuvenates reading paper printed books as well as reading on screen.   

We need to make books available to people at places they visit regularly.  I like one practice that is found in Switzerland.  There are boxes or bookshelves kept at public places like bus stops, where you can pick up a book and/or leave one.

They call it “happy reading” or “books for you”. A person taking a bus may take a book in the morning, read it on thew way and can return in the evening or later.  Local residents/children also take the benefit of this facility.

The rules are simple. You can take a book without having to put one and put in a book without having to take one.  There is just one exception and a very important one: don’t share the books that promote hate. The idea is to read materials that enhance learning, promote peace, and foster friendships.

I share this example so that it can be replicated in other places at the initiative of citizens, local associations, or government. Schools can try this with the engagement of students and parents.   

On a more personal level, we can make a simple rule. Switch-off our devices and read something of our interest for 10 minutes before we sleep. Experts recommend we should avoid reading on mobile devices before sleeping. It interferes with a good sleep that we all need to stay healthy. So, decide what are you going to read tonight.

Leave your comfort zone to realize your full potential

Someone once presented two baby eagles to a king. They were of very good breed and looked beautiful. King had never seen such magnificent eagles before. He asked an experienced person to take care of them. After some months, king went to the place where eagles were kept. They had grown quite big and looked even more beautiful.

King wanted to see them flying. The caretaker went closer to eagles and signaled them to fly. Both eagles started to fly. While one kept on flying high, the second one came back after flying a bit and sat on the branch from which he had taken off. King was surprised and asked the caretaker why the second eagle did not fly so well. The caretaker said he had tried hard but this one flies a bit but then comes back and rests on the branch. King was puzzled. He called for  experts to advice how the second eagle could also fly as well as the first one. They tried different options but none worked. King announced a reward for someone who could achieve this feat.

One day, king was surprised to see both eagles flying high. He was surprised and asked who made the second eagle fly ultimately. A man came forward and said, “I am a farmer. I do not have much knowledge. I simply cut off the branch on which the eagle used to sit.”

This story teaches us some important lessons:

A life of comfort is hindrance to further success. When we are very comfortable in what we have, we tend to forget what we can achieve more. This is where success stops.

We are so used to doing what we do routinely that we forget the abilities we have.  Take a moment to ponder about the abilities you are blessed with, but have not yet used them optimally.

To fly high – to achieve success that we are capable of – we need to get out of our comfort zone. Coming out of the comfort zone requires a trigger like the framer did by cutting off the branch on which eagle used to sit and relax after making a little effort of flying. This is the reason we see a number of people emerging much better and stronger from adversities they face. So, next time, you lose something, don’t regret. May be someone has cut off the branch you were sitting on so that you can fly higher.