Find Your Confidence Triggers

January 30, 2017

Confidence, or lack if it, plays a huge role in our life, in determining how far we go. Our confidence shows in ‘I can do it’ attitude; and this pushes us to give our best shot in chasing our dreams.

Most of us begin well, with the excitement of doing or achieving something but a few initial setbacks change it all, making a dent in our confidence.

What can be done to ensure that setbacks and failures do not shatter our confidence?

We must find what triggers our confidence. Confidence triggers may be different for different people. It can be anything that can be done quickly to divert the attention away from the momentary setback(s) and get a sense of fulfillment.

An Olympian used to watch videos of his greatest wins before a crucial match to boost his confidence. Pursuing a hobby and spending time on sports, music, reading etc. can trigger our confidence. A person who is struggling to get a job can do a short online course and this could be a confidence trigger. A person not getting enough job satisfaction can focus more on the tasks that interest him and get the best out of him. Satisfaction of doing some tasks well gives a person positive energy and this allows him/her to attend to the boring and mundane tasks.

Some people stop socializing in their moments of setbacks. It never helps. It is actually counter-productive. There are people in our circle who are trust-worthy and who can give good advice. They may not be able to offer solutions but listen attentively without being judgmental and help us feel more in control of the situation. They also make us see the problem in a different perspective. Most people actually like when someone confides in them. It strengthens relationships.

Don’t analyse your failures too much. The main thing is to act, and do something. Set yourself short and achievable goals and go for them. Success, no matter how small it is, adds to our confidence.  We must make use of our confidence triggers during the moments of setbacks.

Mark Victor Hansen sums it up well, “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful.”


Break the ropes that hold you captive

July 30, 2016

When faced with a problem, you have two options: do something to solve it or do nothing. Everyone will agree that we can’t let it go and do nothing. We need to do something to get out of it but not everyone does it.  Why?

Let me share a known story:

A man once saw elephants that were held by a small rope tied to their front leg. He wondered how such huge creatures can be held only by a small rope. They could break the rope any time but, for some reason, they did not do that.

He asked their trainer, who said, “When they are very young and much smaller we used the same size rope to tie them. At that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away, so they never try to break free.”

Most of the time, we don’t even make an effort to do something because we are conditioned to believe that this is the way our life is destined to be. We need to change this fatalistic attitude. We need to break the rope that holds us captive.

The real challenge is that the ropes that hold us captive in our life are not visible. In most cases, they get developed as a result of life’s experiences, circumstances, setbacks, broken relationships etc. As time passes by, we get “conditioned” to accepting the life as it is; and stop making efforts to improve it.

We need to find and break the ropes that keep us captive, without even thinking about failures. Failure is part of learning. We should never give up the struggle in life. Theodore Rosevelt sums it up well, “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”